To Be Complete. The Genuine Vibration

A The Path to Intuition entry published on May 5, 2009

The western culture struggles with the concept of self esteem.
Many confound self esteem with ego and vanity.

You know ego only looks for survival.
So it needs to show how good it is.

The egotistic person is the one that only likes to show his strengths:

Strengths are the characteristics the person likes in him which normally produce good results in the group.

The egotistic person likes to ignore and/or to hide his fragilities.
Fragilities are the characteristics the person doesn’t like in him and which normally don’t produce the good results foreseen by the group.

I said the group, because it can be the family, the family clan, the friends, the neighbours, society, religion….

So the egotistic person is not complete.
He would like to erase a part of himself.

Why does ego put up his strengths and hide his fragilities?

His aim is to please others.
He desperately wants people to love him.
He is in quest of approval.
He focuses on survival
This is why he doesn’t want his fragilities to be spotted.
The others might dislike it and stop loving him.

So the egotistic person is totally dependent on others’ perceptions of him.
He will do anything to please others; even war, if necessary.
The egotistic person is constantly afraid that someone might spot one of his fragilities.
He is moved by fear. Thus, he lives in a permanent stress.

Self esteem means accepting everything you are:

Accept your strengths and your fragilities.
Don’t exaggerate your strengths and do not hide your fragilities.
Just be who and what you are.
I call this the genuine vibration, because you vibrate with the truth.
The truth of who you are, not of who you’d like to be.

Your ego is against self esteem:

The egotistic person creates separation in him.
He separates strengths from fragilities.

The person with self esteem creates unity in him.
He accepts all he is.

When you create unity in you, you are reconnecting to unity, to the source; to Who You Are.
Humans incarnate with a purpose they can’t alter.
It is because of this purpose that we are born with strengths and fragilities.
In fact, they shouldn’t be called strengths and fragilities but rather qualities.
They are all positive qualities. Indeed, we only evolve, here in this planet, if we live our fragilities fully, if we put them up front, in the centre of our lives.
Our purpose on Earth is to live fully all we are.
This is the genuine vibration. This is to be complete.

Self esteem and improvement:

When I say to accept and live fragilities, I do not say that as humans we should improve.
No, in life, humans are not supposed to improve, just to evolve; and to evolve means to observe, acknowledge and accept fully all you are; all the little Luís, period.

On Earth, we are asked nothing else but to be what we are supposed to be. Genuinely!

Here are some examples of what I think is not a genuine vibration:

1) To care about what others think of you:

Yes, because when you are influenced by what others think of you, that means you would like to be something different.
Your life is commanded by others.
That’s suicide!

To be ashamed makes no sense, unless you’re trying to be who you are not.
It shows you’re trying to please someone.
Animals in the wild don’t know what that is.

Many say you should be honest.
And you pay attention to them.
But to be honest is to accept and acknowledge who you are. It is “not wanting to improve”.
It means To Be, period.
To be honest means to be integer.
In its Latin root, the word integer means to be total, to be complete.
You may not tell lies but still be a big lie.
It depends on how much you accept fully who you are.

Another example of a non genuine vibration:

2) To be good and to like everyone:

It makes no sense.
Well, it is true we are all One.
Yet, when you incarnate, you receive a body and a mind that separate you from others.
This means you don’t have to like all the others.
You may dislike this or that person.
And that is Ok.
You need to acknowledge which people you prefer to have around you.
You need to make choices.
Never try hard to like someone you dislike.
That’s self violence.
To like has nothing to do with to love.
To like is an emotion.
To love means to accept the other, fully.

I can dislike someone and still love him for what he is.
Because, after all, he is in fact a part of I AM.
This doesn’t mean I have to like him.

Our roads are different, but I still accept him as he is.

Divorced parents ask children to try very hard to like the step mother or father.
This is violence!
They do not have to like them, just to accept them. That is a very different thing to do.
When you don’t understand the difference between to like and to love, you may end up with immunity problems.

Another example of a non genuine vibration:

3) Not knowing to say No!:

If anybody asks me to do anything I don’t agree with, I should be able to say No!
I don’t need to please anyone.
Say Yes, if you feel you like to do it.
Don’t do it only because you are afraid of the vendetta.
I know this is very difficult, especially for children in their relation with their parents and teachers, very difficult indeed.
Our society doesn’t teach self esteem.
It teaches dependencies and obedience.

If you are young and you live with your parents, don’t try what I’ve said above too much.

But, anyway, take your time to observe how much people say Yes when they mean No.

Another example of a non genuine vibration:

4) To talk about others:

You should only talk about yourself. About what you feel, what you think and what you would like to do. That’s all.
But we all love to talk about others and, mainly, about others’ fragilities.
We do it because we can’t stand our own fragilities.

The ego can’t stand fragilities, thus he needs to talk about others’ fragilities.
Observe when you do this.
Just observe and don’t judge you.
Observe how difficult it is not to talk about others.
We can acknowledge facts, yet we should stop to practice our western culture favourite sport of talking about others.

Another example of a non genuine vibration:

5) To confound self esteem with selfishness:

When you learn to freely say No to things you dislike, you’ll be called selfish very often.
Don’t you worry about that.
The ego just hates self esteem, and it will let you know it.

This makes people who are very identified with their ego call selfishness what is only self esteem.

By the way, what is the difference between egocentrism, selfishness and self esteem?

Egocentrism means to see the world from its centre.
It means you’re ego thinks it is the centre of the world.
This is very reductive. The universe has no centre.
You’ve noticed surely that many, many people in our culture try to determine what the universe is or is not from their small egotistic perception.
It is crazy. They reduce the immensity of the universe to their mental understanding. That is egocentrism.

Selfish is the person who prevents the other from having what he wants, using control.
I won’t let you do what you want; hence I will have control over you.

I am not talking about raising kids.
Here, my example is between adults.

You’re Peter and you have a girlfriend Maria.
You’re both invited to dinner at John’s house.
Peter doesn’t want to go. He just doesn’t feel like going.
Thus, he tells Maria he doesn’t go.
This is ok. This is self esteem. He shows self respect.
Peter could even have added: “Maria, I am not interested in going, but if you do want to go, please do. That’s ok with me.”
Most people call this selfishness.

But this is just self esteem and self respect.
If Peter had said: “Maria, don’t go, stay with me, I don’t want to stay alone”, that would have been selfishness.

If Peter had gone to the dinner pressed by Maria, he would have probably done that because he needed her approval. That would have meant he had little self esteem.

I know these things aren’t easy at all in our day to day life.
Just observe how many times you violate your own will to please others.

My last and stronger example of a non genuine vibration:

6) To care about society values:

Yes, you read well.
Values are information that hits you from outside.
They are taught by others.
People confound instruction on matter and instruction on life, when it comes to values.
Why do I say this?
The source, the I AM knows what is important for life, for balance, for peace.
We all incarnate with the perfect sense of what is good for this planet, for humanity and for the whole universe.
We are pure wisdom. We know.

Very quickly, our families, schools, religions, society, friends try to teach us what our values should be.
These are ego values.
This is mental thinking.
Most people corrupt their nature to follow others’ values.
Yes, you heard well, they corrupt their lives.
They cease to be complete in order to follow values.

But when they follow values, they become intransigent.
They like to point their finger at those who do not follow the same values.
They can’t accept it. And they can’t accept fragilities either.
They only accept what is done according to The values.

Observe the values fans.
Observe religions, schools, families, politicians, political parties, for instance.

The values fan is a repeater, he is not a creator.
No ideas he proclaims are his.
He just repeats others’ ideas and values.
But values are beliefs. And we know beliefs command the egotistic thinking, not intuition, not wisdom.

How do you know the values fan is a repeater?
It is easy.
He gets very annoyed when you criticize what he believes in.
Since he is a repeater, he can’t change anything, because nothing is his.
The only thing that is left to him, is to make war; for the survival of his values and beliefs.
This is why the values lovers are often intransigent and their life is a constant fight.

We often listen to people saying that today’s society is crossing a crisis of values.
I don’t share this idea at all.
I think there are too many values.

Wars have started with the proclaiming of values.
He who proclaims values thinks he is the owner of reason; thus, he becomes a warrior against all those who tell him he is wrong.
No, there is no crisis of values.
Values should disappear from our lives. We need to get rid of values; from all of them.

I repeat, I am talking about the values dictated from outside.
Values coming from inside are not called values, but wisdom, inspiration, insights.

Look, think of Hitler, he was paranoiac with values.
And Staline?; paranoiac with values.
Observe wars.
Where did they come from?
And religions, what do they do?
And politicians, and parties, and governments?

I think our youth in our western society doesn’t need any values.
They need references.
I didn’t say models, I said references. Models make followers and repeaters.

What kind of references, then?; references of people who accept their fragilities; references of people who are complete, integer, honest; but not in words, in their ability to observe themselves and to accept everything in them.

Don’t forget:
You can change matter from the outside, but to change life you have to do it from inside.
Every one of us has his fragilities, which he needs to live fully.
It is our purpose on Earth that dictates the fragilities we are born with.
And our purpose is not to be altered.

Trying to avoid a certain part of our being is to try to alter our purpose.
And that shows an immense lack of humility and may cause us many problems.

« Observe, Acknowledge and Accept Facts The Universal Puzzle »


  • July 30th, 2010

    Jan says:

    Excellent article, I like it! Thanks for helping me realize what is important and what is not.

  • September 29th, 2010

    tina says:

    Oh well I guess I am an egoist and you don’t have to like it

  • November 6th, 2010

    ergo proxy says:

    Interessante…Gostei XDD

  • April 26th, 2011

    Tania Gil Horta says:

    Words of wisdom. Inspiring!

  • August 26th, 2012

    Sheena Vijan says:

    I loved the article …It’s so enlightening. It’s what exactly i was looking for…a clear distinction between ego and self-esteem.
    Thank you for writing the article.

  • September 20th, 2012

    Ana Marija says:

    great article!

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